We Get To Choose

We all see the world  based on how we’ve been socialized. If somebody calls you ignorant in regard to a subject matter, you are offended. If you are having an off day and you read an e-mail from your boss you read it to be in the same emotional state you’re in. And, if you’re significant other cheats on you it’s pretty much the worst thing in the world.

Someone may call you ignorant, and their intentions may be in poor taste. BUT, are you ignorant on the subject?* Many are socialized to use ignorant in a condescending context. We are all ignorant on different things. Admitting ignorance provides an opportunity to learn. Think before you emotionally react–the person may be right, you just didn’t like the way they said it. You can address the context and then open yourself up to learning about subject matter(s) in that you were previously ignorant.

E-mails are used to quickly transfer a message between two or more people (or if you’re like me you probably e-mail yourself often). E-mail is text–black letters and a white background. E-mail has wiped away the ability to provide tone or context that face-to-face conversation provides. t and often times it is easy to read an e-mail in reflection of how you are feeling. You made a mistake and now you think your boss is mad at you because today’s e-mails are shorter.  Or you think you’re friend finally found out your dirty little secret because she just wrote back “okay”. It is easy to read the most simple e-mail in a tone reflective of your internal feelings. Get out your seat! Pick up the phone! Your boss probably isn’t mad at you–he/she probably has a lot on his/her plate and just had two seconds to e-mail in between other projects. Your best friend hasn’t found out your dirty secret (yet), she was just e-mailing you from her phone while driving. Reframe! Take yourself and your feelings out of the black text! Read everything like it was written by favorite person.

During a bad break up everyone loves to say “this is probably going to be the best thing that ever happened to you.” Who wants hear that? He/She was meant for you! It was supposed to be together! What about LOVE! Hey, what about 5 years from now? or 10 years from now? What about tomorrow. Most likely the friend is right–it probably is the best thing that happened to you. Now you have new opportunity. You can make a change. You have a chance to rescript your life and then throw it all away because plans are meant to be in draft form. When you are telling your new significant other you love them for the first time, or you are taking that trip that you never thought you’d take because your ex hated to travel then you’ll realize that “Everything that ends is also the beginning of something else. Pain is not a punishment; pleasure is not a reward.”

* ignorant (\Ig”no*rant\ – a.): uneducated in the fundamentals of a given art or branch of learning; lacking knowledge of a specific field http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=ignorant

**http://www.shambhala.com/html/learn/features/buddhism/basics/three-marks.cfm

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About blair a. edwards

i ramble in paragraph form. View all posts by blair a. edwards

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